Help: Signs of Anxiety or Depression in Your Teen
A teen’s first romantic experiences often come with excitement, uncertainty, and many questions—what does “dating” even mean, at what age is it appropriate to start going on dates, how can we support them without invading their privacy? It’s hard when your little child grows up, becomes more independent, and starts spending time with someone unfamiliar to you. And it’s especially painful to watch them suffer after a breakup. Here are some tips on how to support teens as they navigate the world of love.
What does dating mean today?
Dating can mean a lot of different things—from just talking to something more serious. A date doesn’t always have to involve romance. Sometimes, it could just mean hanging out with friends.
Should you set rules for dating?
It's a good idea to discuss the topic of dating together and then share your views with your teen. It’s important to approach this with understanding and to be open to hearing their opinion too. Be prepared that your teen may not be thrilled about having this conversation. When teens are faced with rules, the typical reaction is, “Why?”
There’s no specific age when it’s okay to start dating. It’s better to have an open discussion and explain your reasoning. Ideally, the rules should be based on expectations around maturity, responsibility, and decision-making skills, rather than just age. This way, your teen is more likely to understand your perspective.
How involved should you be in your child’s relationships, and is there a difference between middle school and high school relationships?
In middle school, a “relationship” might just mean chatting or hanging out in a group. So if your teen says they’re dating someone or are in a relationship, feel free to ask what that means to them. However, once they start going on one-on-one dates, the parent-child relationship needs more open communication.
You may also get to know your child’s partner’s parents. But be careful—your friendship shouldn’t pressure the teens to stay in a relationship that no longer works.
Meeting your child’s partner
If your teen’s relationship becomes more serious, and they start spending more time alone with their partner, it’s reasonable to ask to meet them. This is a good idea both from a safety perspective and for peace of mind. Just be sure to approach the situation thoughtfully.
Is it a red flag if your teen is in a relationship but suddenly stops spending time with friends?
To some extent, this is normal—new relationships are exciting and often take priority. But if your teen stops spending time with their friends altogether and only sees their partner, that’s a sign to pay attention. It could damage their friendships, and you should also find out whether this isolation is being influenced by their partner.
Breakups
No matter how they break up—in person, over the phone, or through text—your teen’s feelings are hurt. As a parent, your role is simply to be there, to talk when they want to, and to offer support.
Tips for ending a relationship
Encourage your teen to consider how their partner might feel if the breakup happens via text, phone, or through a friend. Conversations and open communication are key, and they might even help preserve a future friendship between them.
If the relationship is unhealthy, should you forbid them from seeing each other?
In this situation, it’s best to have an honest talk with your teen and share your concerns. Help them reflect on how they feel and whether they believe they’re in a healthy relationship. Of course, this won’t be an easy conversation, but if you're worried about your child's safety, you may need to set clear boundaries. Sometimes, it might come to restrictions. Keep in mind, teens are creative and may still find ways to see each other in secret.
The biggest myth about teen dating
We often dismiss teen relationships as "puppy love" that doesn’t really mean anything. But that's not true. Teens experience real and intense feelings for the person they like. That’s why parents should support their kids and not underestimate the importance of their relationships.